i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
