he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
