I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
