Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
