Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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