kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
