the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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