What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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