I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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