rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
