People in love make me want to vomit
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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