Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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