I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
