been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
