i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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