Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
