he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
