I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
