I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How drunk are you?
Completed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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