so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
