Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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