i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
