It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
