There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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