and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
