Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
