Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
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Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize