you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
