Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
