Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
