True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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