maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
