he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
the raccoons are back...
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