Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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