Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
