like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
