My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
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Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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