I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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