he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize