so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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