So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Enjoy the penises
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
