So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
