I'm eating all of the evidence.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
