So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize