he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
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that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.