Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
