Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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