im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
