hotel room ftw
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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