Christians are straight up FREAKS
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
