haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
