You made me cry and you don't even care
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
