so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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