At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So squirting runs in the family.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
