I wish i was in the wii world.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
