Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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