oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
