i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
