I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize