You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
