she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
