Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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