I look better un-naked...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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