Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
