I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
