After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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