Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
